I was much affected by Bernie Palmer's meditation entitled 'Forsaken your first love?' [2]. I was particularly struck by his speaking of our need for regular spiritual appraisal. But whoever heard of appraisal without an appraiser? So, who is to be our spiritual appraiser?

Ultimately, of course, the Holy Spirit himself, speaking through scripture, but as so often with his gracisous dealings with us, also speaking through our brethren. This is given particular emphasis in Bernie' meditation, because the waring of spiritual apathy quoted [3] is given to a church, inferring the solutions is to be found within the fellowship and not to be left to individuals struggling alone with their consciences.

Tony was not just my best friend and soul mate of 30 years, but also my spiritual director. We met regularly and I was accountable to him in an agreed way for my walk with Jesus. He would not only ask the questions Bernie poses in his article, but expect answers. Without such a firm and loving sounding board, my answers are either too soft or too hard. In this way Tony helped me stay close to Jesus - such godly accountability wa a necessary part of my walk with the Lord.

Tragically, Tony was killed in a car accident 18 months ago, an incomprehensible loss to his family and to his many friends. As I thank God for my firm but gracious 'appraiser' and search for another, I pray you too may be granted a 'Tony' to help you rekindle your first love for Jesus and keep you walking closely to the one who 'sticks closer than a brother' [4]