And what a year it's turning out to be?!
The WHO say we are 'the backbone to every health system'
And during this pandemic the backbone has held the weight of our national health system
Protected vital services
Flexing, extending, moving
With nurses coming out of retirement
Shortened maternity leave
Nurses being redeployed
Coming out of the office and onto the wards
Moving out of their family homes to work and protect loved ones
National pride in our NHS is at an all-time high
And I've never been so proud to be a nurse.
I often feel God's pleasure as I nurse too
When I challenge unsafe practice
When I take extra time to listen to and reassure anxious parents
When I'm thorough and don't cut corners
I am His hands and feet
Bringing His kingdom on earth as it is in heaven
I am Salt, I am Light
What a wholesome and honourable picture
I paint of our profession?
All glory and sacrifice.
But I wonder about the days that aren't so heroic?
The mundane days where I'm on the phone chasing results
Chasing people, 'Answer your bleep!'
Or hectic days when everything runs late
2 o'clock drugs are given at 4
And none of my patients have got the best of me
What does God think of my nursing then?
What about the days that I'm not proud of?
When I'm cross
Maybe because somebody has used the last vial of antibiotic from the box and hasn't bothered to order anymore
'Who does that?! How inconsiderate! What's wrong with people….'
Mmm, yes, maybe I've groaned and moaned
Or induldged in that conversation about a colleague even though I felt the prompt not to but I just couldn't help myself… or didn't want to
What then?
Still proud of me then, God?
I'm learning that what pleases Him is love,
faith and obedience.
Humble and open hearts
Sometimes that looks heroic and newsworthy
Seemingly deserving of a weekly clap
But so often its unseen
Ordinary and everyday
Sometimes I please Him when I'm nursing
But sometimes I please Him by not
By taking a break
By resting
Prioritising my family or relationships
So yes, I am proud to be a nurse
But it's just a fraction of the whole
Being His is what truly defines me
His love shapes, inspires and drives me
And remains unaltered no matter what
I do or don't
I cannot add to or diminish it
Earn it or become disqualified from it
His love for me is resolute and unending
I am the apple of His eye
And He rejoices over me with singing.
Bex Lawton is a paediatrics staff nurse and CMF nurses & midwives 'poet in residence'. She also shares performances of her Christian, nursing focused poetry on Instagram as possiblybex
