sacred care

Lucy Honeysett shares the privilege of giving time, space, care, and, above all, presence to those we care for at the end of their lives

As an eighteen-year-old first-year student nurse, I already knew there was something sacred about caring for dying people. I’d been a carer in a Christian care home and had looked after several elderly Christians who had died. These were precious experiences. Holding the hand of a child of God who was slipping into the presence of our Father and witnessing peaceful, dignified, gentle deaths was such a privilege and real treasure God provided for me to store up.

So, back to being an eighteen-year-old first-year student nurse on a hot, busy care of the elderly ward. A lady was unconscious and seemed very close to death. I naively imagined the ward would slow down for her, draw near to her in these final precious moments of life, affirm her worth and communicate its care. But no. Nothing changed. Nurses sat chatting and writing up notes at the desk, bells ringing, visitors arriving, curtains being pulled, and commodes wheeled down corridors at speed.

This lady was alone. No family. No chaplain. No nurse. Just me. I wanted to be present just like I’d been for the Christians I’d cared for in the care home. I wanted this lady to know she was loved, irreplaceable, not forgotten, precious. So, I remained present. I sat by her side and held her hand. And in the quiet, I silently prayed. I remember asking God to show his love to her. And I remember questioning ‘how can I do this?’. How could I watch people die and not know where they are going? I remember hearing God say, I am with you. I will help you. I don’t need you to have all the answers or to feel equipped or even be equipped, because, together, we can do this.

Since this remarkable transformative moment, I have nursed thousands of dying people and now support carers who care for dying people day in and day out. [1] Sometimes I’ve felt very unequipped, out of my depth, frightened and overwhelmed. But God has always been present, always helped, always comforted, and always provided. And I believe he has chosen to place me into people’s final-breath moments to communicate his love at a time when it’s most needed.

My guess is that many of you have been present in those final breath moments. Sometimes expected, peaceful, welcome dying moments, sometimes deeply traumatic, abrupt and utterly devastating moments. I feel confident that God has beautifully strategically placed you there because he needed you there, and he still needs you there.

Our Father deliberately places his children in these sacred final breath moments for us to show love and care to image bearers of our Saviour who need to know they are precious and irreplaceable. And remember, you don’t do this alone; the great I AM goes with you.

Lucy Honeysett is a palliative care nurse by training and experience, and now works as the Lead Coordinator of Christians in Care