what does he like to be called?

Bex Lawton tells us a story of a patient encounter with a teenager on her ward. Pseudonyms have been used for anonymity

‘Knock knock. Can I come round?’ I edge back the curtain when I hear the grunt of ‘sure’, to find my teenage patient reverted into the foetal position, clinging to the hand of the woman who carried him.

‘Morning! Are you Edward?

There’s a groan of ‘yes’. Or a groan of ‘oh-for-goodness-sake-here’s-another-healthcare-professional-I’ve-never-met. Will-you-cut-the-pleasantries-woman-and-get-on-with-it?’

‘I’m Bex. I’m your nurse for the day. Sorry to be another new face’.

‘When can I have pain killers again…sorry, what’s your name?’

‘It’s Bex’ I say pointing at my badge so they can read it too. ‘Well, it’s Rebecca really, but everyone calls me Bex. Let me run and look at your chart, mate, so I can let you know. I’m coming right back’.

I make sure he’s topped up on all he can have. And after the Oramorph has kicked in I can see his body finally relax.

‘Can I help you have a freshen up, Edward? What do you prefer, Edward or Ed? Maybe you’re someone’s Teddy?’ I say suggestively with a smile, and I can see that he really is more comfortable because it makes him laugh.

‘It’s Eddie’

‘Well, OK, Eddie, let’s have a little wash and change your top. These plastic mattresses and pillows can make people so sweaty. I think it will make you feel better.’

And I wonder whether my habit of shortening names has translated to my relationship with God. When I call on his name, do I call on all that he is, or a lesser version? A simpler God. He revealed himself as I AM to Moses at the burning bush. The God who never changes. The God that has always been, even before creation and will always be. Do I approach the great I AM of the Bible? The one who hovered over the waters in the beginning and breathed life? The one who parted the Red Sea to rescue his people out of slavery? The one who healed the sick with just one touch and raised the dead. Or have I become so overfamiliar with these stories that they’ve lost their wonder? And I’ve been less familiar with who God is somehow. Have I lost my expectation that he could still be that I AM today?

With all the usual teenage boy reluctance, Eddie lets me wash him.

I knock his cannula in his right ACF by accident as I lean across to grab the towel and it makes him flinch.

‘Oh, sorry sausage!’

He laughs again. ‘What did you call me?’

And I blush.

‘Well that’s embarrassing’ he says teasing me. And this is how we form our therapeutic relationship that will get him through that tricky day two post-op.

I long for a more therapeutic relationship with I AM.

Bex Lawton is a paediatric nurse in Oxford and CMF’s Head of Nurses & Midwives